Love...Choice...The One

Once upon a time I believed that there was "one true love" for each and every person. I thought I found that person, the one. I re-evaluated this idea after she reached into my chest, tore out my heart, dipped into a tank of liquid nitrogen, and threw it against a brick wall to watch it shatter into a million and two pieces. Just kidding, it wasn't that bad. She just broke up with me, and for good reasons, but that could be the topic of another entry in this blog.

While I was recovering from this blow, I read a book called "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck. Among other things, he addressed the topic of the one. He challenged the idea that there is one perfect person for you out there, and I came to my senses and agreed.

What I understood from this part of the book was that true love is a choice, not a pre-determined phenomena. Being attracted to someone, having the hots for them, wanting to jump their bones, etc. are primarily motivated by our human need for procreation and is something we don't have too much control over. Attraction, or "falling in love" with someone, is natural and biological (and great), but is not something that can be the foundation of a long lasting relationship. Once you get past "the hots," you may find that emotions settle down and your feet return to the ground. At this point, you have to make a choice about your significant other. If you choose to love this person, and you want to make it last, you have to commit to that choice and make that choice everyday. I think taking ownership of this choice makes being with that person for the rest of your life that much easier.

Going back to the idea of "the one," I am reminded of "The Matrix." Morpheus believed that Neo was "The One." Not in a love kind of way, but that he would be the savior of the human race. Neo didn't believe this. The Oracle told him he wasn't it.

It wasn't until he believed that he was indeed "The One" that he actually became "The One."

So now apply this concept to love. When you find that person who you think is the one, don't expect he/she to be "The One", make them "The One." Its a choice you make, and if you believe that they are that one special person out there for you, then they really are.

Just my opinion...